Still Waters

“And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.“ Galatians 6:9

It has been a second since I have felt lost or hopeless and alone. I feel lost often as one can tell and hopeless many times, which is my human nature, but lost and hopeless, that is whole different thing. To feel like this will not go well and that nothing could fix the situation, to feel like the world is a mess and the war hasn’t even started, that is to me the definition of terror, to know it will get worse and not know what to do. However lately, even if terror as been a constant part of my life, I have not felt alone in any situation. I knew that even when I couldn’t feel Him, He was working on something great to put the pieces back together. I felt terrified but never alone. And so I prayed, out loud for the first time, I spoke the words in my brain instead of simply meditating on them and I feel like, the Lord took them so seriously that He sent me the most direct of messages, something He knew I could not and would not miss, even if I tried, even if I was distracted, there is no way I would miss it because the pastor would make sure to say in his sermon “to not let myself be distracted from the word by my phone, because the Lord had something to share with me” and so I listened. The same way Samuel answered with “Lord speak for your servant is listening”. And once again, it was just what I needed to listen to. “… in due season we will reap, if we do not give up” those were the words that captivated me the most. You see, I was about to, now don’t take this down the wrong path, not give up on life, but give up on hope and on my situation, about to let the worst happen or make a choice that would not have benefited me in any way, but the Lord spoke, and I listened. And with listening I made the choice to trust. Although things are not much better than they were, He did provide just like He promised He would and I keep trusting that in due time, the whole situation will be solved, but for now, I need to just trust His ways, not try to solve with my ways. He has good waiting for me so why would I choose the easy way out just to make sure I’m somewhat ok? Why should I settle for what I see as nice and “ok for now”, when He has a grand plan waiting for me. Now I don’t think that His grand solution will be grand in a material perspective, which He definitely could do if He wanted to, but it will be grand because it will be exactly what I need in that moment. While on this topic however, I would like to put our focus on just that: He could if He wanted to. Often, we forget that our God is all mighty, that anything He wishes to be done, will be. It doesn’t matter how big the thing is, He can do it, it’s just a matter of “should He do it”. You see, I believe that not all good things are for us, and not all bad things happen for a bad reason. I found myself debating over something that was too good to be true and yet I told myself that this is God I have on my side, the same God who parted the sea for His people to cross, same God who resurrected Lazarus and His own son in flesh and blood, the same God who will bring down mountains and calm down storms, not to forget the creator of the Universe we call home, so chaotic and yet so perfect, we simple minded humans can’t even comprehend it, although we try. If we can’t comprehend His perfect creations, but we can see them, why do we believe that He can’t do something just because it seems impossible? “Blessed are the blind, for they need not see to believe” so let us believe without seeing, listen without hearing and agree without touching. How great it is to have path be written by the author of tomorrow. He already knows what will happen and He will not forsake us, even when it hurts, it all has a reason. And I know it is tiring, sometimes devastating, even deadly, but in the end, if you do believe, you will reap, just don’t give up.